It is human nature to commit or grow used to something and then forever picture it in your future. If something is working so well for you why would you ever consider life without it? As we grow this way of thinking becomes less intense (because, in my opinion, we’ve experienced these things being taken away from us) but nevertheless is still there. A few years ago I got a matching tattoo of lyrics from a song by my favourite band with my best friend. Luckily The Maccabees are still my favourite band, but I don’t speak to the girl anymore. Every long-term relationship I have been in has included that little daydream of what our kids would look like despite not actually wanting kids any time soon.. if ever. However far up or down the spectrum of forever-thinking you are, we are all guilty of it at some point in our lives.

Even though I’m drifting aimlessly through life at the moment and no one thing or person has any promised stability for me, I’m happy. Ridiculously happy. “One door closes so another one opens” is such a cliché idea but one that I know I am a living example of. One day I’m going to settle down with a career, two-up two-down house, family of my own that loves me for me and maybe an aquarium. Right now is the time for living each day as it comes while I have no responsibilities or ties to anyone or anything. Anything I do to fuck up is something I have to recover from and doesn’t affect anyone else in the long-term. So why not take a risk on a big blow out and risk fucking up every now and again? I’m strong enough to recover and in the end it’s all worth it. I’ve always pined for stability – now I accept that there are positives to having no promises to anyone.


10 thoughts on ““Forever-thinking”

  1. “Right now is the time for living each day as it comes while I have no responsibilities or ties to anyone or anything. Anything I do to fuck up is something I have to recover from and doesn’t affect anyone else in the long-term”

    you always have family ties and responsibilities, no matter how small, and these will always be affected by your decisions no matter how small they are. Over time continual “small” mistakes colour others opinions of us and can affect relationships further down the line which can affect or stop us reaching some goals we might try to achive.

    in my opinion that is…

    1. If my mistakes colour people’s opinion of me in a way that affects our relationship negatively they aren’t worth knowing. We’re all human, after all. The best people accept you for you and your mistakes.

      1. even the acceptance of a mistake can change the way some-one looks at you, this can make people less likely to trust you with more important decisions and your opinions on cirtain matters may not have as much meaning, that doesnt mean that they are no longer worth knowing.

  2. What I am trying to say in this post is that my way of thinking right now does not allow me to dwell on the consequences of my actions as well as “the way someone looks at you”. This is usually viewed as a negative thing so I thought I’d try and show the positives of living in the moment. Not everyone is going to agree and I genuinely appreciate you reading/commenting because I’m sure a lot of readers will agree with you.

  3. i have had a lot of experience in these matters, small mistakes that i have made have cost me so much in my life. i was in the same frame of mind at one time and thought that things that i did could never impact in any way on any other persons life, the fact was they did, some times in only a small way that didnt really change anything, but in others they cost me dearly in one instance causing me to become homeless. you should always consider the affects your decisions make on others, if for anything, for your own future well being.

  4. My situation at the moment is very similar to the dark part of your life you just described and at the same time I am the happiest I have ever felt. I suppose everyone copes with this feeling differently. I do not believe that things that I do will never impact on someone else. The “fuck ups” mentioned are the things I do to impact myself negatively. In reality everything you do will impact on one person negatively and another positively, for example even something as insignificant as the way you’re dressed. I’m not one of those people that do something disregarding the consequences on other people (purposefully, anyway) but at the same time you should live for you and do what makes you happy. I feel that this is the only way to preserve your future well-being.

  5. could not agree more, i think the idea of a fixtion on an everlasting continum of a perfect present is an impossible yet very common dream, and the idea of a lack of stability scary to some, but why look for stability when you can find happiness in the most unstable of areas 🙂 awesome post :p

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